guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
