I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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