I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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