Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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