You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
