We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
