I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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