he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
