i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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