is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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