is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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