just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
