im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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