These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
