i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
