I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
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He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
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They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
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