And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
