We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
