____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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