dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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