dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Sober January is a disaster.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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