We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
