Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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