I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
