I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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