Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize