No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My dick has a subreddit
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
