Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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