people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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