New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You brought string cheese to the strip club
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
