When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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