bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
