I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
