I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
