shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
