I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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