There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
jump out the window naked night went bad
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
