no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
