so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
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I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
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Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
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