i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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