Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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