please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize