You're completely useless in the revolution.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
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The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
