trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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