So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
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