He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
