forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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