This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm like, not good at living.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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