no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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