He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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