can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
