Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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