ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
