You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
is that a dick in a sweater?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
