I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize