i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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