True but thats because hes a fetus.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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