my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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