gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
