Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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