Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
