Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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